Praise in Public, Criticize in Private

Feisty women, always remember to, “Praise in public. Criticize in private” when you are talking to and correcting others. Sometimes this is very hard to do but is always necessary.

As I went about my Tuesday “senior citizen discount” grocery day shopping, all was quiet and filled with the sounds of the 1970s music in the background. I went through my list and came to the much-needed candy aisle. So many items were on sale that I had difficulty choosing just two things to buy. Looking through all the treats, I suddenly heard howls and yells from a small child. Seems that she was wanting more treats than her mom would allow, and she was not a happy camper. Much back and forth talk between the mom and child resulted in not-so-kind words about the child and her behavior. The mom was publicly berating her in a way that left me feeling very uncomfortable. I decided to speak to her as I was choosing my candy and wanted her to help me pick out just one treat. She immediately stopped yelling and made some candy suggestions for me, to be honest, which were good ones. The mom looked at me and mouthed the words, “thank you.” I did remind her about always listening to her mom, and that she really does love her a lot. She nodded slowly in agreement. Yes, I do not live with the child or know her history, but my kind words diffused the situation quickly. We both went on our way, as I thanked her for her help, as she waved “bye.”

So, praise in public. Criticize in public, feisty women as you deal with people today. Always think of how your words affect others and choose wisely before speaking.

Moving Forward, Not Backwards

 
 

Today on my “Just ask Elizabeth” Blog, a question from a reader who wants to move forward, not backward in her life.

Dear Elizabeth,

Sometimes I get “stuck” on things in life. Any suggestions for moving forward?

Sometimes Stuck in Ohio

Dear Sometimes Stuck in Ohio,

We all feel stuck sometimes. A gentle reminder about moving forward is what we all need!

As you move forward in your life always remember:

The past cannot be changed. It is just that, the past. Look ahead to the future.

Everyone’s journey is different and so embrace your own journey.

No overthinking about anything. It only stresses you out.

What others think about you really does not matter.

Keep your thoughts positive and always be kind.

Smiles are contagious, so smile a lot.

Always let go and move on. Things will get better in time.

And my favorite is about karma: what goes around comes around. Good karma only.

I hope that my thoughts help you less “stuck” today. Look forward to the future and never dwell in the past, feisty women.

There is a great future waiting for you.

Notes on "Success"

 
 

Feisty women, have you ever said, “the only place success comes before work is in the dictionary”?

As a former teacher, I read these words to my class once and the entire room just let out a collective moan. I then mentioned names of celebrities, sports figures, and newsmakers who were successful because they had all worked a long time perfecting their specials skills and talents. The moans subsided and “light bulbs” went off above the heads of students across the room.

Being successful takes work and many people look for an easy out that isn’t there. As many of my feisty friends are starting businesses in their retirement, we all know that a lot of work is required to do just this. And we are putting in the time, effort, and money to begin the next successful chapter of our lives.

So, feisty women, best of luck as you begin these new businesses. My second book is now available! I will be starting book 3 shortly.

Just Ask Elizabeth - Remembering Our Friend, Betty White

 
 

Dear Elizabeth,

With the recent passing of Betty White, I feel that I have lost a “friend.” Any words of wisdom to remember Betty?

Sad in Toledo

Dear Sad in Toledo,

We are all sad about the passing of Betty White, who felt like a “friend” to all of us. Her smile, humor, kindness, compassion, and feistiness will be missed by all of us.

To remember Betty, though, we can all remember and live her words of wisdom:

1. Your outlook in life is what counts! Remain true to yourself.

2. Be thankful and enjoy every minute in life.

3. Always be an optimist, kind and considerate, and get along with others.

4. Always have a sense of humor. Laugh a lot!

5. Connect with other people, forgive their mistakes, and move on. Let it go.

6. Save planet earth and be kind to animals.

7. Never retire! Work gives you a drive and sense of purpose.

8. Be kind. Nice people finish first!

I intend to do these things, too, and so should all of you! The best way to remember our “friend” Betty is to live your life as she did. We will miss you, Betty.

Always Tell The Truth

Feisty women, have you ever said, “Always tell the truth”?

You sometimes need to remind people to always tell the truth. They can really “spin a tale,” as a close friend always said. They don’t just get the facts “messed up”; they “change” the facts to suit their wishes, but sooner or later the truth does come out.

Why waste your time lying or misrepresenting the facts or stretching the truth? That makes no sense at all to me and my feisty friends. We all have better things to do with our time, as we set about improving our world.

All feisty women agree that telling the truth is always easier because:

1. The lies you tell always seem to come back to bite you. (So true!)

2. It’s simpler to remember one set of facts, and who you told these facts to. (Easiest!)

3. It’s always best to be honest, no matter what. (Feels best!)

4. A solution to a problem can be worked out more quickly with consistent, honest facts. (Yes!)

5. We, feisty women, can always spot a liar and call that person out. (Not fun!)

So, speak the truth always. Solve the problem with honesty and avoid being called out by the numerous feisty women, like me, who “can spot a liar at six feet.” We will call you out as you contribute to the problem itself and not the solution. The world needs fewer problem makers and more problem solvers.

Have everyone that you know to make this their New Year’s resolution: to always be honest, to be a problem solver, to be one who can make our world a better place for everyone, and to call anyone out who is less than honest. The world needs us, feisty women! We can do it!

Just Ask Elizabeth - Think Happier

 
 

Dear Elizabeth,

As the New Year approaches, I want to have a happier 2022. Any suggestions?

Signed,

Seeking to be Happier in Tampa

Dear Seeking to be Happier in Tampa,

Happiness is in your hands, in your own mind. You can change your life and actions in positive ways; your brain can rewire itself to be more positive, with repetitive practices! After a recent health crisis, I learned this to be true. Daily practice being happy can make the brain permanently think more positively.

My 5 tips to do this, feisty women, are:

1. “3 to 1”- positive responses versus negative responses make the positives flourish.

2. Keep your sense of humor, no matter what.

3. Treat yourself kindly, always, and stop worrying about everything.

4. Always be grateful. Journal, exercise more and let others know that you appreciate them.

5. Meditate and be mindful every day.

So, try my suggestions. They just might help you, too. Have a Happy New Year!

Always Be Kind

 
 

Feisty women, have you ever said: “always, always, be kind”?

Today, you need to remind people to be kind. Just your gentle reminder can change the course of a conversation, a person’s reaction, or another’s the course of the day. We all can use a bit more kindness in our lives, for sure, I believe. And kindness costs nothing.

I had a sign posted at my former job that said, “Be nice or leave” and “be kind always” side by side. Many reminders later, people started getting it. My place of work was a “kindness zone.” Only kind and respectful comments were allowed. I had my students always pause “3 seconds” before speaking to give them one last chance before sharing words that might be hurtful to someone else. It took a bit of getting used to, but it did work.

So, pause 3 seconds before you speak, feisty women, do a “gut check”, and then speak. Your words matter. And make your words matter for the good of everyone in your world.

Happy Holidays and remember to “always, always, be kind”. Start a new trend in your life because kind words do matter especially in the times that we are living in right now.