On Being Resilient

Hello, Feisty women! Are you resilient? Being resilient mean that you are…. “hardy, strong, robust, invincible, spirited, durable and feisty”! (The dictionary actually does say feisty. No kidding). If any of these words actually describe you, you are on your way to being truly resilient and feisty. Wow. What a great way to live your life. So check out the list and see how many of my resiliency points describe you.

You are resilient if you:

1.     Realize that you are not perfect and actually acknowledge your flaws. You know your strengths and weaknesses. You do not dwell on them but try to learn from them. No one is perfect after all. We all get hurt, pushed down, and disappointed but it is how you get up and move on that really counts. It may take time, but moving on slowly is better than not moving on at all.

2.     Are kind to yourself and focus on the good things that you have to offer. Make a list of all of your positive attributes. (You may be pleasantly surprised at all of the things that you are good at). When I recently spent some time creating my list, I was surprised at how many positive things I could actually name that I really do for myself and for others on a regular basis. And yes, my feisty sense of humor did make my list. I could never survive without it.

3.     Stay positive no matter what. As you heal you focus on the good things in life, no matter how crappy your day might have been. You are able to change the things that you can and accept that some things you cannot change and focus on the good changes that you have made. Move on. (A friend reminded me that alcohol couldn’t be used to change her negative mood, but neither could milk.  She is still seeking her “positive change” drink of choice to help her through her “down” times. I suggested a Slurpee because they taste so deliciously sweet, cool, and offer a quick burst of energy. I love them).

4.     Connect with others and bounce back after hearing their words of compassion, encouragement, and unfortunately, revenge. The support of family and friends is always there for you; use it in the spirit of kindness, caring, and comfort in which it is offered. Ignore their revenge ideas because it is definitely illegal to “hurt” someone, even though it might feel great at the moment. (Resist the urge to follow these interesting, clever revenge tactics. They will really not help you bounce back at all and may get you into even more trouble). Resilient, feisty women find “other ways” to get their revenge: by living your life on your own terms and enjoying yourself to the fullest.

5.     Live a life full of passion. No matter what activity that you are involved in, you give it your 110%. Being resilient and feisty is no different. In all you do, even new ventures, be passionate but not stupid. Enough said.

6.     Focus everyday on what you are grateful for. Every day a minimum of 5 things should be listed in your “resiliency journal”. List even more than 5 if you can because some days are better than others. Re-read your list at the end of the week and smile. Focusing on good things is always best. And you do a lot of good things, feisty ladies.

7.      Concentrate on the things you did today that you are proud of. You may have actually forgiven someone (even though you will never forget the bastard’s name). You realized that your happiness is more important than anything, (even though it is easier to be sad in a Mercedes than on a bike, as one of my friend’s reminds me).  You made a difference in your life and in someone else’s life. And that my resilient, feisty ladies, is all that we can hope for in this life.

So how many items on this list are on your resilience list? I think that we can  relate to nearly all of them, even the revengeful ones. Just remain positive and life will bring that positive great karma back to you that you so richly deserve. Stay resilient and feisty.