Dear Elizabeth,
I am grieving over the loss of a close friend. We were both stricken with the same health issue, and I survived, but she received care too late to save her life. I am struggling with this loss on many levels. What would you do, Elizabeth, to begin to heal from this loss?
-Grieving in PA
Dear Grieving in PA,
So sorry for your loss. Grief is such an unexpected emotion, and everybody handles it differently. I, too, am grieving over the loss of a close friend. Her death was such a shock. She was about to retire and was looking forward to starting her wellness business; she had even rented business space. Her loss is still so acute and brings me to tears. I find that writing about our memories together has been helpful in the grieving process. It helps me to remember the good over the bad, and celebrate a life well-lived. It's possible you will find it helpful to write down or recall your own memories as well.
One October, we attended the Met Opera together. After being enchanted by the costumes in the lobby, we made it to our seats only to find that applause had already begun in honor of the set and lighting design. Well, that was different, I thought. The two leads were stellar until the tenor “gacked” the highest note in his famous aria, causing my friend and me to flinch at the same time. While debriefing on the way home, we agreed that the vocal leads were wonderful singers but the casting was lacking. The female lead was at least my age or older, and did not resemble the young daughter she was portraying, and the male lead looked like the Shrek character, Lord Farquaad. We laughed until we cried but agreed that their singing, except for the one “gack” and the orchestra was well worth our attendance. You have to use your imagination when you attend the opera, my friend said. We stopped at McDonald's on the way home - in true Met Opera fashion. Bravo!
To celebrate our birthdays another year, we went to see a Broadway show. I wanted to see something humorous, and we settled on Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. When we arrived, I noticed we were the only women in our section of the theater. I thought perhaps we were in the wrong theater, but the word “queen” should have been my clue. The show was, to quote the guy seated in front of me, “fabulous.” The song, “It’s raining men, hallelujah…” has never meant the same for me after that night. Both of us had aching sides by the end of the performance from our laughter. Our pre-show meal was at Virgil’s. Yum!
My friend was an outstanding musician with a wide variety of musical tastes and a foodie at heart. These memories will be forever with me as I celebrate her love of music, kindness, laughter, and our adventures together. We helped each other through good and bad times alike. I can imagine my friend making healing music in heaven with family and the angels. They are lucky to have her with them, and she is missed here on Earth.
Grieving in PA, I am sure that you have many memories that will help you cope during this tough time, that will make you smile instead of cry should you think of them. That’s what I believe our friends really want us to do each and every day.
With love and care,
Elizabeth
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