Just Ask Elizabeth- Writing Daily Positive Affirmations

 
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Dear Elizabeth,

I seem to be rather sad lately. I’d like to appreciate the happiness that I already have in my life and recognize the many things I have to be grateful for. Any suggestions on how to do this?

Signed,
Feeling Unhappy in Westchester


Dear Unhappy in Westchester,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling unhappy right now. I know exactly how you feel! This happens to lots of feisty women that I know, myself included. Try some of my tips below and let me know if they work for you!

Every day I do my best to create happiness in my life. I write down one affirmation every morning to start my day on a positive note. Before I go to sleep, I write down five “thankful for” events or people of my day. This helps to start and end my day on a positive note. I find I get more restful sleep after doing this.

Here are more of my feisty woman suggestions for you to try:

Always be positive and keep your sense of humor in all that you do!

Feisty happiness keeps health woes away! Work out and eat well.

Exude confidence! Have great posture, hold your head up, and always look your best.

Do things to give yourself more energy.

Handle your challenges with resilience.

Think through actions before you do them.

Boost all your relationships with love and compassion.

Never stop doing things you love.

Remember, you deserve the best that life has the offer.

I hope that my suggestions help you feel more happiness in your life. Let me know if I have helped you feel more grateful.

- Elizabeth

Humility and The Feisty Woman- A Book #2 Teaser

 
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Below is a teaser from my second book, The Feisty Woman’s Guide to Surviving Mr. Wonderful: Karma Rules! If you enjoy it, you will definitely want to get on my mailing list for information on the book’s release this fall.

Karmic Law #3: Sometimes life stinks; you cannot change that. Be humble. Move on, try again, and make it better.

What does it mean to be humble? I consulted a few feisty women and asked them what this means to them. What follows are their responses. 

 According to feisty women, you are humble if:

  1. “You are comfortable, confident, and let your deeds speak for themselves. No words are needed.” 

  2. “You always embrace self-evaluation and remain open to criticism.” 

  3. “You celebrate the achievements and potential of others. “

  4. “You listen to the words of others. “

  5. “You are happy not being the star. “

  6. “You hate arguing.” 

  7. “You think of others before themselves.” 

Yes, we do have a bit of work to do on the whole humility thing, they all say, but they are only starting in on this. These feisty women were also focused on their own words: “Move on, try again, and make it better.” 

A good way that I focus my energy on moving on and making a better world, is through civil duty. I call my congresspeople to encourage them to vote for the good of others, not just a select few. Some of the feisty ladies I know practically have their congress peoples’ numbers memorized as they leave daily messages in support of the Affordable Care Act, Planned Parenthood, the National Endowment on the Arts, Meals on Wheels, and against the NRA. As issues arise, they continue to feel the need to “make it better.” Humility does not include underestimating the value of your own voice in working to change the political landscape for the better.

What does humility mean to you?

The Great Law of Cause and Effect

 
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Happy Wednesday, feisty ladies (and men!) Last week, I discussed the laws of karma and my new book, The Feisty Woman’s Guide to Surviving Mr. Wonderful: Karma Rules.

Here is the first law defined along with my examples to put it to good use!

1. The great law or the law of cause and effect

When most people talk about karma, they’re likely referring to the great law of cause and effect. According to this law, whatever thoughts or energy you put out, you get back — good or bad. It’s the concept of what you reap, you sow.

Many of us think about what is done to us, not the energy we are putting out into the world. This law focuses on the actions you take in this very moment that effect every moment down the line. I use this law of cause and effect when I am at the grocery store and clear the way for someone in a wheelchair, give a stranger a compliment, or give someone the benefit of the doubt instead of judging their character and/or intentions towards me. Ever walked into a room or social event and greeted someone familiar only for them to turn away or, the worst, forget your name? In the past, I would think, “how rude!" especially if I had met that person before, or think maybe they did not want to chat with me or like me very much. Now I realize that is putting all of the energy and expectations of the situation on the other person!

Now, using the law of cause and effect, I think of some other possibilities before overreacting. Maybe they are not wearing their glasses and did not recognize me. Perhaps they are having an awful day or going through some type of breakup themselves and hoping to avoid conversation. Perhaps they have some social anxiety after the pandemic, or so on. The bottom line is, that whatever their reason is not my issue, and I forgive them. I don’t let it ruin my day, and continue to put positive energy out there.

Do you have an example of cause and effect? An action you regret perhaps or a time you handled yourself so well despite the circumstance and you were proud? Share in the comments!

My Next Book: The Feisty Woman’s Guide to Surviving Mr. Wonderful: Karma Rules!

 
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Feisty women! How much do you know about karma? What pops into your head when you hear this word?

My favorite line on karma is “what goes around, comes around.”

However, I believe there is so much more to karma than that!

Have you heard of the laws on karma? There are twelve in all, and they go far beyond the typical “what goes around, comes around” line you may be familiar with.

Stay tuned for the next few weeks where I will be highlighting some of the twelve laws that are included in my much anticipated second book, The Feisty Woman’s Guide to Surviving Mr. Wonderful Karma Rules!

Coming soon!!

Re-emerging Into The World: 467 Days Later

 
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NYC has finally fully re-opened after 1 year, 3 months, 1 week, and 3 days of covid restrictions. 70 percent of the state has been fully vaccinated, and so much of our world has changed (and remained the same - namely, sweatpants) during that time. I have mixed feelings of excitement and dread about the world getting back to its regularly scheduled programming. But most of all, I am so happy that people are getting back to health, back to work, and that our health care workers have the pressure taken off them and will be celebrated in a parade in NYC on July 7th. Three cheers for vaccinations!

I have been thinking about the ways we will re-emerge into the world after months of covid hibernation. It is high time to boost your spirits and your health. It is time to pamper yourself a bit, I think. Here are some of the suggestions I am trying:

Putting on some real clothing. No more yoga pants, PJs, or slippers but instead capris, nice tops, and actual shoes. Sneakers or sandals will do as well. Going for a walk or even to the grocery store in “real” clothing, I felt simultaneously like my old self, but a new and improved version.

Live music is back! I want to listen to some live music while minding my social distance. Many artists are offering solo performances outdoors. Check the local newspaper for show dates and venues. I find music calming and a stress reducer, in an often, beautiful setting. Two great things together, music and nature - what could be better! Bring your mask, sit six feet apart from others (just to be safe), and soak in the music.

Hug someone (assuming both parties have been vaccinated). Boy, have I missed hugging my family members, especially my younger nieces and nephews. High fives were just not cutting it! I could feel my blood pressure go down and could not stop smiling as the hugging resumed.

Check in with a therapist if you are suffering from stress, anxiety, or depression after all of these months of isolation. Many people have needed some help as they resume a bit of “normal” life. This will pass in time and is not a sign of weakness. I find paying an unbiased person to talk to about my problems can be so helpful and offer a different kind of relief.

Pay attention to your smile. It can be a real mood booster for you and everyone else you meet. Smiling behind your mask is just not the same.

It is high time for some self-pampering. Go to a spa and treat yourself to a massage. Make sure they are a spa that has been observing covid safety protocol, and many have. I felt like a brand new woman after acupuncture and a massage.

Plan a short trip. You will really look forward to getting out of the house and seeing what a new place has to offer after all this time spent indoors. My perfect get-away includes a long walk or hike and lots of nature to improve my mood and heart health. Just planning a trip can be filled with excitement and a huge mood booster!

As I transition to our new normal, these activities have helped a ton. I still wear my mask when I go walking every day. At least it keeps out the pollen during allergy season! I am healthier with the mask on and will continue wearing it to avoid seasonal allergy attacks. Keeps out the germs and pollen. Woohoo!

How do you feel now that the world is getting back to normal? Is there an activity that you have found helpful? Let me know in the comments and stay well, feisty ladies.

Exercise: The Cheapest “Drug” for All Feisty Women

 
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Questions I have asked myself regarding exercise:

Are you a daily or weekly exerciser? (Maybe)

Do you ever exercise? (Rarely)

Are you thinking of starting an exercise program? (Sometimes)

This is the “drug” that I am speaking of. (A VERY safe one, for sure.)

If you’re like me, who needs lots of good reasons to do something, keep reading my tips below!

Exercise is easy. Turning it into a habit isn’t. Here are some of my reasons!

1. It actually can help you feel better. Move your body and get your endorphins pumping. More endorphins flowing = better mood.

2. It’s free. Activities like taking a walk or a swim, a gym membership, or fancy classes can come with a hefty price tag- no thanks. 

3. If you are a chocoholic like me, exercise will allow you to keep indulging your sweet tooth. I could never imagine life without dark chocolate, so instead, I walk every day.

4. Exercise can help lift that ever-present post-menopausal brain fog. 

5. Take the stairs instead of the escalator wherever you go. There you go!

6. Choose a form of exercise to fit your mood, from kickboxing to just walking.

7. Try out yoga if you haven't already. An hour goes quickly in yoga class, and I always feel and sleep better afterward.

8. Swimming laps can do wonders. It really feels like you are “washing” your troubles away.

9. Get a pedometer or a fit bit and log in those miles or minutes and see how many you can do each day. Sometimes your phone will track the distance, but I like to go phone-free from time to time!

I try to choose one numbered item on this list every day. Reward yourself after seven days of exercise, then fourteen, and so on until this becomes part of your daily regimen.  Let me know how it goes!

What are your favorite exercises?

What's Your Feisty Anthem?

 
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Music is a cure. The power of music in your life cannot be underestimated!

This week I was thinking about recovery anthems that have helped us through the tough times- especially breakups. A good anthem is a MAJOR part of finding the old you again and moving on. Sometimes I like to embody the character in the song and really just sing my heart out even (especially) if I am home alone. I find this raises my vibration and helps me feel a little lighter throughout the day. If you are going through a hard time, I suggest finding an anthem that helps YOU feel a little lighter, too. Play this song as many times throughout the day as you (or your pet, kids, and neighbors) can stand to hear it. 

I asked friends for suggestions of their own feisty anthems and affirmations! I plan on turning them into a whole playlist! Which songs or affirmations would you add?

“I Will Survive” -Gloria Gaynor (A classic!)

“Since You’ve Been Gone-Kelly Clarkson” (My life has actually been better since you’ve been gone.)

“Respect”- Aretha Franklin (I deserve and demand respect in my life.)

“Roar”- Katy Perry (I will be happy and full of life when you are gone from my life.)

“We are Never Ever Getting Back Together”-Taylor Swift (Life without you has been so much better.)

“Girl on Fire”- Alicia Keys (My life will be moving forward towards a better future without you.)

“Fight Song”- Rachel Platten (I am taking back my life.)

Keep in mind, silence can be powerful, too. Sometimes even music needs to be turned off and the silence embraced. Just being all alone to hear your thoughts and feel your feelings can be good for your entire being. Embrace the quiet times life has to offer. It is okay to sit and be still. Sometimes tuning out from the noise might be the best way to tune in to what you are feeling. It gives you time to regroup and refocus and rethink all of your recent steps forward in your new life. You might even smile when you realize just how far you have come!

Embrace it all, feisty ladies.

Comment or email me your favorite songs and anthems!

Just Ask Elizabeth - I Want Revenge On My Ex

 
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Dear Elizabeth,

I recently found two plane tickets in my husband’s briefcase for a business trip - one with his name, another with a woman’s name that I do not know. I am so angry and shocked! I knew we were having problems but had no idea he had one foot out the door. I thought we would work things out! Naturally, I want revenge. What’s the best course of action??

Signed,

Seeking Revenge

Dear Seeking Revenge,

I am so sorry to hear about your lying, cheating, scumbag partner. Choose as many nasty words that you can call him and use them. Anger can be the best method to get over somebody who has hurt you until time has a chance to heal what right now cannot be healed.

However, I would say no to seeking revenge. Let karma rule here - what you put out into the world comes back to you and you really need no more hurt at this time.

The best revenge? A life well-lived! Do your best to move on with your life, find out what makes you happy, and never look back. The universe will take care of your ex and the recourse for his despicable actions.

You will be happy in time, on your own terms. That is the best revenge of all!

Best of luck to you,

Elizabeth