Dear Elizabeth,
I’m embarrassed to admit that I still deeply miss my ex. No matter how much time passes, I seem unable to get him out of my head. Any advice on getting over a “Mr. Wonderful”?
Signed,
Still Missing Mr. Wonderful
Dear Still Missing Mr. Wonderful,
Yes, read all of my books immediately! Kidding aside, missing an ex whether they were “Mr. Wonderful” or “Mr. Not-So-Wonderful” is totally normal, and moving on is not an overnight process. There is no magical trick. Give yourself some time to heal.
I recommend journaling if you have not started already. Make lists of what you miss and what you do not miss. See which list is longer. BE HONEST with yourself when writing the list. Figure out what your deal breakers are. For me, cheating was a deal-breaker. Refer to the “do not miss” column every time you find yourself missing your ex.
Talk to the people you love. Friends and family may help to keep you on track, reminding you why it’s a good thing your ex is no longer in your life and how much better you deserve.
If these two suggestions fail to work, seek out a therapist. Ask your friends for suggestions for names of therapists; chances are they know of a good one. You can also find one in your area and under your insurance plan on Psychologytoday.com. I met a young gal who visited my Feisty Woman table at a local holistic event. She had tried my first two suggestions, journaling, and talk therapy but still struggled. I recommended a therapist to her and she seemed happiest with that suggestion.
Choose what works for you. You can move on. You deserve a great life!
Best of luck,
Elizabeth