Ask Elizabeth: Should You Always Be Available For a Friend?

Dear Elizabeth,

I told a friend who was going through some rough times that I would always be there for her. She is, however, always calling me after 11 p.m. I need my rest but want to keep my promise. Any suggestions?

Sleepless in San Francisco

Dear Sleepless in San Francisco,

You need to keep your promise of always being there for your friend. Just set up a timetable for calls and stick to it. You both can then get your sleep and still be there for each other when you are awake and functioning. Call each other before 11 p.m. and then call it a day. This has worked for me and might just work for you.

When in Doubt, Zoom!

We all might have opinions about being part of a Zoom session, but we should realize that having a Zoom meeting of any sort may have saved our sanity in the last few years. Even as we emerge from pan- demic lockdown, many Zoom meetings remain in place. Many people, especially those who are medically compromised, benefit from the sessions. Since you can see the face of the person talking to you, it is better than talking on the phone. Many friends have shared their great Zoom experiences with me.

Volunteer Whenever You Can

I have always done volunteer work in my life, as part of my work, and even traveled to another state to complete work projects through my church. Since the pandemic is better under control, some of us are venturing out to volunteer, but others are holding off for a time. Whatever your interest, there is a volunteering experience out there for each of you.

When in Doubt, “Practice the Pause.”

When in doubt, let it out. Let your words or actions be written on paper or digitally in your journals, as suggested in Chapter J. Never act on a whim or a random thought. Even if you are ready for an action or set on any type of revenge, let it out, but on paper only. Practice the pause. Count to ten and let it go. Revengeful actions probably will become regretful actions, so think the thought, write it out, let it out, but do not act on it.

Extra Tips for the Feisty Woman

I keep hearing feisty tips from women who have survived a “Mr.Wonderful.” So many wise words deserve a chapter of their own, so here they are, straight from the women who have shared their stories and experiences for this book. These tips came to me from women in a wide variety of careers, age levels, and occupations, who are friends of friends. They are random women you chat with in the grocery store line, and women who overhear you chatting as they pass by and stop and join in the conversation. And these women are all, it seems, accompanied by a “sidekick” who thinks just like they do.

Vegging Out Time is Okay

Do you remember when you always felt that you had to be doing something? That you were wasting time if you were doing nothing? Well, those days are happily over; they left your life along with “Mr. Wonderful” and his busyness. Now is “you” time, feisty women, to do what you want, when you want, and where you want to do it, as you take a day now and then to have a “vegging out” day. You will feel so much better for doing this. Studies have shown that observing these days as often as you can, will promote wellness, relaxation, rejuvenation, calmness, a time to “recharge” your battery, and offer a well-needed “break” from the stresses of our lives. Just try it and see what happens.